Had a reminder visit this morning to help keep me on track. It came both in the form of a dream and in recovering of memory of my mission in this life and body.
Last night I went to bed feeling once again very down and out over my situation and timeline. It really upsets me that my life will continue on as it is without much to look forward to (or that is how it seems now). Though I want to be at ease with my situation and life as it is presently I can’t help but feel restless, in a rush to do more, be more, etc.
I asked for help yesterday. It was provided in dreamtime.
The dream began in a location adjacent to my mother’s home and land. Not sure if this is an alternate universe I created or meant to indicate a connection to that part of me and my life. I believe, now that I have had time to process the dream more, that I was being reminded of my past and the preparation it provided for my life.
I was in a large mansion in the garage (inactivity) which was open to my mom’s property. I could see the gate to my grandparent’s land in front of me, the mailboxes, etc. All was very vivid. A group or “party” of people was arriving who I knew and was awaiting. They were going to take me somewhere. I waited for them at the SUV.
When the group arrived a man who was blonde and very tall reminded me that he knew me and told me how we knew one another. He sent me the memory as pictures/images and I recognized myself in them and said, “Yes, I do know her (me) and I remember you!” In the memory I was there as was a blonde girl/woman and him as well. We were on a flatbed truck and I was between him and the girl version of me.
In the SUV (wanting to deviate from a path) a woman began to drive us to our destination. I noticed the gas tank was nearly on empty and exclaimed that we would have to go the long way around to get gas. The closest gas station was 14 miles in the opposite direction. I said, “You should know better than to come out here without enough gas.” As we drove, though, the tank showed a quarter of a tank. I realized I should have waited for the car to warm up and that my mistake would delay us. I could see the familiar land surrounding my mom’s place as we drove.
When we arrived at our destination it was a large facility or warehouse with lots of rooms and stations inside and very high ceilings. There was quite a lot of the dream where I was in a bathroom adjacent to a bedroom. I was on my period (release of pent up tension/anxiety) and had begun to bleed so much that I was soiling the bathroom. A young man kept trying to get to me and I had to make excuses to hide the blood. It felt as if he was romantically interested in me. In fact, it felt like more than one man was doing this but I only recall the one. He went to my top dresser drawer to get me some clothing and I tried to stop him, worried of what he would see. When he opened it up it was full of food – protein bars and sweets. I relaxed then and asked him if he wanted one.
A woman came in and got the man to leave. She then helped me manage the overflow of blood. I told her that I was on day three and normally would not have so much blood. It didn’t make sense to me. I looked down and saw a puddle of blood pooling near my feet. It was spreading out and getting bigger. I had menstrual cramps and everything. It felt very real.
There was a shift in the dream and I saw a young girl who had just been born. There were parents but the focus was on the girl. She was special. She had blonde hair and blue eyes and looked like the girl I had seen earlier in the visions given to me by the man. I watched as she grew super fast, skipping childhood completely to become a young adult. I then saw her step onto an elevator.
Another shift and we were all gathering to receive our assignments. We – the girl and I – were with the man from earlier in the dream on a flatbed truck just like in the vision. I was told that I would go with the girl and we left with a group to our assigned flatbed truck (group work) to await transport. I remember being told I was not to go on the truck with food and had a very important mission on the front lines. It felt very military in a way as there were hundreds of us in formation and then hundreds of groups of others doing the same thing. We were also all wearing white nurse-like uniforms. Pure white.
Then an alarm sounded and a voice came over a loud speaker. It was informing us of an assignment change because of an emergent situation. People began to scramble and look at small devices in their hands. The devices told them their new assignments. Many left the line. The young woman with me did this. I was confused and looked down in my hand at the device I had with me. It had never been used and somehow I knew how to get it to function. I had to take tape off the paper and feed it into the device. It then began to print up my assignment but I was holding it so the printed words were upside down. A woman came to assist me and took the printed info and tore it out of the machine along the perforation. She then showed it to me.
I saw very distinctly this:
OUE but when I read it the letters shifted and the O looked more like a Q.
OUE to QUE
The woman told me, “You have been assigned to the Visual Presentation Center (VPR)”.
I wondered about what this was and saw in my mind the front desk of the entire facility we were in. It felt like in-take and my heart sank because I knew what it meant. I had been taken off the front lines where all the “action” and “important” work was being done and been sent to be a greeter of incoming “soldiers” (though that is not the right word). It felt similar to being a hostess at a restaurant – greeting people as they came in, smiling and being nice, taking their information and walking them to their assigned “seats”. I was immediately sad/disappointed especially because I knew the young woman I had been with had been sent to do what I felt was a more exciting assignment, closer to the action and more hands on.
Somehow the letters on the paper explained my assignment. When I looked at them the O was most prominent and the other letters seemed to fit inside. The bottom portion that made the O look like a Q was set in such a way as the Q was more like a O with a perpendicular line pointing straight down underneath. I believe I was seeing Light Code in the dream and that it was how we communicated.
I walked toward my assigned location and passed by a tall, dark haired Hispanic-looking man with facial hair (go-tee). I knew him as the person I reported to. I also felt like he was the “father” of the young woman for some reason and thus held a similar relationship to me. When I walked by him I asked, “When would you like me to report?” He said to me, “I don’t care.” He looked and felt as if he were just as disappointed as me. I noticed he had a rake (must do work by ones self) or broom in his hand and was using it as if cleaning up the area. It seemed like he did not want anything to do with me but I did not take offense.
The sense overall was that no matter my assignment I would do it, not because I had to for fear of punishment but because it was needed. Everyone went where their gifts would be of best use for the whole. It felt like duty and loyalty to a cause. There was no “I” in this equation, only “We”.
The reality of my assignment woke me from my slumber and my partner was very close. My lower abdominal region was sore and stiff and I could feel energy swirling in my head from my crown down the back of my neck.
Disappointed by the reminder my dream provided I felt deflated. My partner sent calm and said, “You belong here (as in this position in time/space).” I said to him about my assignment to the VPR – “But I’m not doing anything.” He replied, “Yes you are. You’re here to guide others.”
With his words my blog came to mind immediately. I acknowledged him but still was disappointed. I wanted to be assigned where the young woman in my dream was assigned – the front lines where all the action was taking place. It was exciting, full of action and participation, everything that I feel called to do here.
My partner then reminded me of my life and background, how everything I had done up to this point had been in preparation for my role in the ascension of Earth. The main path, of course, has been “teacher”. I worked with children of all ages, mostly those struggling, and expanded into counseling. All of these attributes are specific to my role as guide. The dream was showing me that my assignment is to meet and greet others coming into awareness (in-take) and show (guide) them their path.
I can only assume now that the “others” are children or those considered children either literally, figuratively or both.
My partner encouraged me to not resist, to allow, which I did. I could feel the comforting energy settling over my head and snaking down my neck toward my core. He said, “We talked about this before you arrived.” I Remembered but had not anticipated how difficult it would be. My gut urge is to jump head-first into action but the reality of my situation is that I cannot move so quickly. I heard, “It is incomplete” and I knew this to mean that my process, which is also the process of my current family/situation, is not yet complete. Contracts must be fulfilled.
I was gifted with a vessel that had been prepared (via experience, attributes) for my work but in return I must complete her contracts. This is our agreement.
My gut urge, though, is to LIVE my purpose. Imagine receiving the gift of a body that is full grown and still maintains its vibrancy and youth. Wouldn’t you want to explore it? Wouldn’t you want to grab hold of life and live it? Yet what I am confronted with is the reality of the agreement I made with the walk-out. Before I can do my work here I have to complete hers. To me it seems like an eternity, as if this body will be old and have lost all its youth before her contracts are complete. It seems like such a waste to not use what I have been given.
I shifted into dreams again after a while. In them I was traveling to California (spiritual connections/home) and meeting up with my family, a group of people unrelated by blood but connected at a far deeper level. We were planning a trip together and I remember scheduling a 12:30 trip with my mom. I kept taking photos and video of the group, seeking to remember the faces and the connection we all shared. Throughout this dream I kept having physical sensations of arousal which would wake me and then I would fall back into the dream scene. This happened over and over.
Ultimately I awoke and was reminded that the pleasures of the body are inferior to the sensations created from the connection of Spirit. That missing out on my remaining youth was unimportant and I would recognize this at some point. My outward appearance would matter not. This I remembered from the many lessons in dreamtime I had undergone reminding me that when one is connected to the Divine all other considerations of the flesh fall away. Yet while in this vessel – flesh – the sensations of the body and the desire that accompanies it is very real and attractive.
Then the reminder and Knowing – Mission first, all else is secondary.
It is at moments like these – moments of Remembering – that this experience of walking-in to an adult human body is very real to me. The Memory is like lightening and there is immediate surrender to this Knowing. I know that the walk-out was not like this. When I think of her the word that first comes to mind is “resistance”. She resisted everything to the point that her entire physical body continues this pattern, stiff and unbending to life to the point that months of daily yoga practice has yet to free this body of its restrictions.
Similarly, I can understand why she was so resistant. Her Knowing went against her wanting. Now in her shoes I have similar feelings, similar desires to do my own thing, to break free of this life trajectory I am on. It is very real to me why she was the way she was. And now, in her shoes, I am experiencing not only who she was but also how she was – is – received by others and the roles she agreed to play in their lives. But my role as her is very passive. I simply continue her patterns for the benefit of others while waiting for their lessons to complete and her (my) contracts to be fulfilled.
In the meanwhile everything I came here to do is on hold. Everything except working on correcting the issues of this body so that it can hold more Light. Right now preparation is the only thing on my agenda other than fulfilling the contracts of the walk-out.