Woke up crying this morning from a pain in my heart similar in intensity to the pain I was feeling back in November and December, 2016. I’m unable to put into words just how painful it is but it is so bad that I feel like I am dying from the inside out.

I had a couple of very vivid dreams leading up to the crying episode. Both dreams involved me being in a different country attempting to adapt to a different culture and experiencing culture shock. In one dream I was taking over the job of a woman but decided the job was too much for me. I resigned and hugged her goodbye saying, “I’m sorry”, then burst into tears.

When I woke up crying, my guidance reminded me that I needed to take my time to heal and prepare. I heard again, “You know what to do.” When I heard this I didn’t know what to do, though. I just felt empty inside, so lonely and sad. I told my guides, “I can’t take anymore of this.”

I asked why I kept feeling this way – this gut wrenching, living death that eventually lessens only to come back and hit me square in the heart. The response I heard was, “Separation.”



Based upon my dreams, my Knowing upon waking and the messages from my guidance it seems that this process I am going through is a normal part of the walk-in adjustment period. When I was told the pain was caused by “separation” my first thought was that I felt separated from Source and Home. Thus, the culture shock feeling in my dreams.

Since I’ve never been through this, I can only speculate as to what exactly is happening because my guidance doesn’t offer much in the way of assistance it seems. I was starting to think I had gotten past the worst. My body feels balanced and back to normal again and overall I feel better than I have in a long while. Yet this horrible despair comes back and I feel like I have not made any progress whatsoever.

I don’t know what to do with the feeling except allow it but it pushes me to the edge when I feel it. Like I will break into a thousand pieces from the weight of it and eventually snap.



This entry was posted in Stages of the Soul Exchange, walk-in and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Separation

  1. brweb78 says:

    I’m probably easy off here, but what if your Guidance Is answering you by being silent? What if you’re doing exactly what if meant to be? What I mean is by you having these experiences, then telling about them, well it is really helping others as well.. perhaps not having the answers is the answer by reaching out and others will realize that they’re not alone, or the only one having these feelings…
    I went through a horrible “dark night” once only to realize that I needed to know how it felt if I were to properly help others.. have yet to do so, but I think that was the reason. I hope maybe this helped a little, lol..

    Liked by 2 people

  2. brweb78 says:

    Well, when all is said and done, I bet we’ll all laugh at ourselves for not knowing or “remembering” why we chose or planned things the way we did.. I’m still trying to figure out what my job is, lol.. so confused… But I hope you feel better and with the support of others reaching out that you don’t feel like you’re really alone or seperated.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Have you checked the planetary-k index? Insane. Lots of red. Just sayin…ha!

    Liked by 3 people

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