What happens when you no longer accept what others have to say about you as truth?
Example: The other day my husband was nagging me about the normal stuff. Sometime he starts in on me first thing in the morning and it often gets me into a sour mood. This time he kept saying, “I think you would be so much happier if…..” and “I notice you are really unhappy….” He kept implying or out right saying that I was unhappy. I stopped him and said, “Why do you think I am unhappy? I am doing just fine. Stop saying I’m not happy when I am.”
And I realized that up until that day what he said about me I often accepted as truth. I allowed it to encroach upon what I know to be true about myself, inserting doubt into my mind and upsetting my happy place. Why did I accept what he had to say about me over my own truth? Is he somehow more of an expert at what makes me happy than I am?
Not only was I happy when he said I was not, but I was happiest doing the very things he wanted me to stop doing because they were somehow inadequate or not in line with what he thought should make me happy or with what makes him happy.
I confronted him, telling him to stop projecting onto me his beliefs about happiness and what it looks like. I told him that I was doing what made me happy and that the only reason I appeared unhappy to him is that he kept insisting that I stop doing it! What is surprising is that he realized then that what he was doing was wrong and backed down. Even better is that now when/if he says critical things to me I no longer accept it as truth unless it is in alignment with my truth.
My guidance is saying to me right now: “This is standing in your own power.”
Light bulb goes off. Ohhhhh!
With this I am considering all the other times I give my power away and why. I don’t do it with everyone. I give it away to those who I feel “know more” somehow, like my parents, my siblings, a close friend, a teacher, a boss, a spouse…you get the idea. It has to be someone I respect or who I feel surpasses me in some way such as having a higher education, being older and “wiser”, or who I believe I am suppose to be subservient to (like a spouse or father/mother figure).
Wow. I give my power away a lot….
How often do you just accept something someone says about you as truth? What if you stopped? How would it change you? Your life?
It goes even further. When you accept what someone else says about you as truth, you adopt the Beingness of this untruth, replacing your truth with it and distorting yourself so much that eventually you become the untruths and lose your own truth.
We’ve been doing it our entire lives. It’s the very reason we feel “lost” and wonder “Who am I?”
What now? I will be paying a hell of a lot more attention to those things I am automatically accepting as my truth. I must break a very old and ingrained habit – habitually allowing others to dictate to me a false Beingness.