This post is to document the integration process as it is unfolding.
Examples of the surfacing and subsequent releasing of the walk-out’s tendencies:
- A strong desire, sometimes compulsion, to exit this life. There is often much emotional outpouring, bargaining and apathy accompanying it.
- Self-destructive behavior and tendencies. Strong desire to do recreational drugs, some even that have never been tried before in this life but perhaps in other lifetimes. Most are subtle like not eating well, smoking, drinking and reduction in exercise/activity. More prone to argue with others, especially my husband. Not caring about the potential consequences of my actions.
- Impulsive behaviors/considerations such as: a compulsion to steal or take things from others when I think the loss of the items would go unnoticed; thoughts of doing things purposefully that would harm or hurt (nothing major, just childish things); purposeful shirking of responsibility both at home and work.
- Extreme depression causing lack of care of personal appearance or hygiene. For example, I have not shaved my legs in six weeks (lol). Also causes lack of care in the appearance and upkeep of the house and personal items.
Simultaneously, there have been energetic phenomenon that I cannot explain. My guidance tells me I am integrating the lower two chakras. There has also been a dramatic increase in OBEs since the month of October (10 in November and 11 to date in December). Early this month I had an instance of leaving my body while wide awake! Finally, in a recent OBE I distinctly felt my root chakra to be completely GONE.
I’ve experienced physical manifestations in the lower two chakras especially, sometimes the third chakra. Pain in the lower back, kidney area and urinary tract sometimes causing concern (almost went to the doctor). Irregular menstrual cycles, headaches/neckaches, stomach ache, sporadic pain in legs, skin rashes, dry skin, acne, dizziness, insomnia (waking up early and not falling back to sleep).
Then there is the extreme in emotion that is only now settling down and making sense. My empathy levels have been off the charts. I have never experienced the emotion of others to such extremes and seem to be taking on the emotions of entire groups of individuals over many generations of time (Native Americans and autistic children and their families especially). Yet the sensations that tend to go along with an open heart chakra have been completely nonexistent except when I have these strong empathic connections, mostly in dreamtime. If I try to connect to my heart, I feel nothing but emptiness.
Amidst all of this I will have urges to do balancing and harmonizing things for my body, mind and spirit. At the beginning of December this is what was advised:
Eat for my dosha (Ayurveda)
Increase intake of good fats in diet
Avoid extreme physical activity (don’t overexert myself)
Do yoga as frequently as possible (preferably daily)
Cut out alcohol, smoking, coffee (still drinking coffee)
I was told I need to “clarify and purify the whole system to achieve balance spiritually, emotionally and physically.” The decrease in exercise is to allow the physical body to heal. “Meditation and retreat from social media for spiritual balance. Focus and train self to be centered in the heart. Use affirmations, art, light language, music, quiet time and nature to assist the process. Emotional release to be expected. Allow, recognize and it will pass.”
Dreams and Synchronicities
My dreams are vivid with recurring symbols and themes. Dream symbols that keep repeating are:
U-turns (7 dreams this month)
Drugs, either watching others take them or taking them myself
Cats and kittens
Toilets and plumbing, usually overflowing or clogged
Throughout the month of December synchronicities have been abundant, especially on and since 12/12/16. The numbers 11, 111, and 1111 have been frequent.
Symbols and messages coming through as light language: