Leaving Soon

I awoke this morning out of a dream in which I was excitedly awaiting a trip I would be taking to Bali or the Bahamas or a similar island destination (both were mentioned). The trip cost me $3,000 and I would be there for 3 weeks.

The main part of the dream was the preparation. I saw two distinct groups of people. One was the group I would be going on the trip with, the other was a group I recognized as friends from high school. I was talking to a woman about the group of high school friends. I said very matter-of-factly, “I’m not going with them. I knew them in high school. That is…” and I began to point to each of them and name them for her. My group was packed and ready to go but I do not recall focusing on them much. I do recall a black woman and her young son being part of our group. She couldn’t go because she was VERY pregnant and we would be leaving right after the birth of her baby and he would be too small to travel. I spoke to her at length in the dream. I recall her being my “sister”.

My group then piled into a van together to head to the airport early. I told them I was going to wait and leave later because the plane didn’t leave until 3pm. The next thing I knew, though, they had all gone and taken my bags and ID and passport with them. The group of high school friends had also left. No one was there and I panicked a bit because I didn’t have my passport and ID. Would I be able to find them at the airport? I stayed close the my sister and her son and looked for my cell phone to call our group and tell them to turn around and come get me. I found my phone but it was a small, blue flip phone and it wasn’t charged.

The dream gets hazy here. I spent a lot of time talking to my sister who somehow morphed into my “mom”. I have memory of this mother figure. In fact, she was my mom in a past life, a life when I was a black woman living in Mississippi during the Civil Rights Era. She has helped me before and it appears she has returned. We discussed the upcoming trip and what I would do. I remember seeing a small island surrounded by crystal, clear water. I was then in the water spear fishing. I had never done it and was afraid I would spear a huge fish, he would be too big and he would drag me to my death. Then I swam up to a floating ice berg and rescued a seal from a giant polar bear. I know, weird.

I awoke then saying to my guide, “I’m going to leave soon.” I heard her reply, “In three weeks.” This startled me completely awake.

images (1)You’re Going to Leave 

There is a story behind this message. Back in 2005 while working as a 5th grade, substitute teacher teaching math, I was told one morning as I awoke,”You will leave.” At the time, I panicked and thought it meant I was going to die (yeah I overreacted).

I was a miserable mess at this point in my life. Quite depressed and resisting my path. I only took the substitute teaching job to make ends meet but I hated every minute of it. The biggest issue was the grade level. It was 5th grade math and if you don’t know, the age of 10-11 is a whiny age, especially for boys. They are also very clingy (boys and girls) which I was not use to.  I don’t know how many times I had boys crying in my classes. I nearly cried right along with them.

It was on a drive to this job one day that I asked aloud to just be allowed to die. I couldn’t take it and wanted out. I was serious, too. So hearing the message caused me to think I would get what I wanted. Obviously, I didn’t want it or I would have celebrated instead of freaking out. lol

So what happened? Well, one morning I went to work but just couldn’t take being there that day. I faked being sick and went home (so I did in fact leave). When I got home I went to bed immediately. The next thing I remember is standing in the middle of a golden hued space. I won’t call it a room because it had no definable boundaries. I was hugging someone. A man without a shirt. I could feel his skin, his warmth and the feeling was so comforting that it brought me to full awareness in this golden space. I looked up and saw him then with 100% clarity. He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen (still is). He was very Egyptian-looking, or at least that is what I thought at the time. His hair was black and long, framing his face. But it was in hundreds of teeny, tiny braids. His skin was golden hued as well and seemed to radiate light. His eyes were almond shaped and a honey brown color. He was smiling very big and as I stepped back, in shock that I was seeing him, feeling him, hearing him laugh, I saw all of him. He had no shirt on but was wearing something akin to a kilt because it came down to his knees. It was tan with two diagonal strips of white fabric draped over the front. On his feet he wore sandals whose straps wrapped around his lower calf. Then I heard him speak to me with amusement in his voice. He said, “Do you not remember me?” In hearing him with such clarity I was filled with so much excitement and joy that I was pulled back into my body.

So, it says a lot that when I heard myself saying to someone this morning, “I’m going to leave soon” and I didn’t bat an eye. Even when I heard a time frame from my guide.  It likely means I will in fact leave. For how long? Who knows. And what will I leave? Home? Another location? My marriage? My life? lol I have learned since the above experience not to overthink it. It means I will leave. That is that.

So, we’ll see if I do “leave” in three weeks. Maybe I will finally just follow my heart and get out of here? Maybe it will just be too much to resist the pull any longer? It has been unbearably strong lately.

 

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