My guidance has presented me with some information. This information came via the dreamstate.
Dream: Back to the Beginning
I was traveling very fast along a busy highway. I knew I had to turn right so I got into the right lane. I noticed along the side of the highway to my right were many people stopped and resting. As my attention was distracted I hit something which jarred my vehicle. Some pyramid shaped speed bumps were the cause. At that time I saw to my right large buildings that sparkled in the bright sunlight. They resembled stacked cubicals. Inside each cubical were people resting.
I stopped and got out of my car. I entered a cubical and set down my baby carrier with my son inside. I left him there and went exploring, walking up the sidewalk after climbing out of the cubical. I ran into women and suddenly remembered that I needed to get back to my baby, so went back to get him. I found him with a woman and her baby and she told me the two babies entertained each other. As I prepared to get back in my car a family passed by. They were carrying camping equipment and the son asked the father, “Where are we going?” The father said, “San Antonio.” The kids said, “But that’s home, we just came from there.” The father said, “The tour starts there. We have to go through Independence to get there.” The “tour” was a tour of feathers which I saw falling down from the sky.
Previous Dream: New Name
I awoke suddenly and knew the dream was a message. I knew this because another dream suddenly came into my memory.
The previous dream was of my own birthday party. Many people had been invited and were joining my husband and myself. My husband was very bossy and pushy and the energy of the scene was messy. I felt like all the people invited did not like me and were not my friends. A discussion about my new name came up. There were three choices. While I tried to remain positive it was obvious my husband did not like this new me. He did not want me to have a new name.
I sent everyone home, declaring that if they did not like me they needed to leave. One man remained but he was quiet, sitting in the corner meditating. I said to him, “Thank you for staying. I know you don’t like me, though.” He told me it wasn’t me he didn’t like. He did not like the energy inside. He preferred the mountains. I told him to go into the mountains which were outside. He said the energy was too intense and he preferred to stay inside with me. I was curious about this man.
Then I told my husband I did not care what my new name was. He could pick whatever one he liked. I knew he liked the name Ashlyn or Ashley and said he could call me that. He said that was not the name he liked and that I was wrong. I felt conflicted because it seemed none of the names was to be accepted.
I was upset by what I knew the dreams to mean. Change was coming. The first dream was telling me I would have to slow down. I would have to go back to the beginning and to do so meant going through independence. “Independence” I interpreted as coming into my True Self; being true to my self. It may also mean leaving behind dependence on others, traveling on my own. This was the part that upset me.
The previous dream of my birthday and names indicates to me a new birth is coming and I would need to clean house, getting rid of those who do not resonate with me. The one man in the dream stayed. I am not sure who he was but he definitely not my husband. The name Ashley corresponds to someone I met in Mt. Shasta. I wondered briefly is I was to connect with her somehow and memory popped into my head. At one point I had a knowing that I would move and when I did a friend of mine would need a roommate. Hmm
I tried to push the message out of my mind. To me it felt like my next step was already happening and even if I tried to avoid it, it would come to pass. I did not want to hear it.
I fell into the in-between. A circular disc was presented to me. I knew it was bread and that I was being given communion. This woke me up because I have never taken communion like that. I heard someone say, “It’s your first communion.” I wondered what it meant and heard “sacraments.” I am not Catholic so was unsure of the meaning.
I fell back into the in-between. I kept hearing “Occum’s Razor.” I knew what it meant – that the simplest solution is most often the right one. I knew this meant that my knowing was likely the correct answer.
A memory came to me of earlier in the night. I had a thought about my daughter. She just turned 8 and I remembered that my parents got divorced when I was 8 years old. It was traumatic to me. I remember thinking, “I don’t want that to happen to her.”
I pushed the memory out of my mind. There is no way I am getting divorced and putting her through that.
I heard again and again, “Occum’s Razor.” I wanted my guidance to be quiet.
I fell into the in-between again. I saw a swarm of ants. There were millions of them and they all had wings. I saw myself withdraw inside and shut the doors and windows. I remember thinking they could not get in, but then the ants somehow got inside. They began flying towards me but there were less of them. I heard a voice ask, “What would you do about flying ants?” I replied, “Swat them.”
I awoke knowing that ants symbolized work, teamwork, community. They symbolized my work in relation to the whole. My mission. My service to humanity.
My knowingness was unavoidable. I knew my transformation would force change, change that would be uncomfortable.
While considering this, I received a vision. I was inside a prison. In front of me were individual prison cells with people in them. I was not inside a prison cell. I was standing in front of these people and an energy was coming out of me. It went to each of the individuals. My thoughts were, “Free them.” I came out of the vision with an odd feeling inside me. I knew my job was to help awaken the others; to help free them from the prison of themselves.
I shuddered from the knowingness. Even now I hesitate to reveal what I know.
I awoke early in the morning to the sound of thunder and rain. The thunder was so loud that I could not return to sleep. I remembered my dreams and thought, “A storm is coming.” Again I shuddered. It is time to emerge from my cave. It is time to come into my power, my True Self.