So today I Remembered. You can find this story linked in my other blog here, but this particular version is the full version – the walk-in version.
April 5, 2015
I went to Easter dinner at my mom’s house and after dinner me, my mom, step-dad and daughter were looking at photos in the spare bedroom. I had been in a strange spiritual high at that time for a couple of weeks. I felt spacey but calm and very in the present moment. While listening to my mom and step-dad discuss old memories I began to grow more and more spaced out. Their voices began to echo, like they were far away, and time seemed to slow down to a crawl. At first I thought that maybe I was just tired and since I had been feeling so spacey for so long I didn’t worry about it. So I just settled into the feeling. I was extremely relaxed, calm and peaceful.
The next thing I know I am up in the corner of the room looking down at myself and my family members. I can see but it is similar to my OBEs in the etheric – black and white and shifty. I can sense my physical body and know I am both in it and out of it at the same time. I can also sense each of my family member’s outside of their bodies next to me, but they are not aware. It is like I am hanging out with both the physical and etheric versions of them. I counted them just to make sure.
By this time I am a bit worried because I am in two places and very obviously experiencing something profound. So I panic a bit, thinking I need to do something about my body before they figure out I am not in it.
Then I am back in my body. When I have full awareness everything feels fake, like a movie scene. I look at my mom and step-dad and have no emotion. None. It is like looking at actors in a movie. I am thinking, “This is not my life. This is not my body.” Everything was so alien to me.
I sat there for quite some time (approx 30 minutes) feeling this way and thinking, “This is not my life” over and over and over. I cannot make sense of anything and I worry I will never be able to live in this body or in this life because it is NOT MINE.
Then I see my baby toddling toward me. I know he is my son yet I feel NOTHING. I remember thinking, “He’s my son. I should feel something for him. I should love him.” I was panicking by this time, sure I would never connect to anyone in the room. So right then and there I decided to love him. When I made the decision to love him, all the alien-feeling began to lessen and I opened my arms and he ran into them. I hugged him so tight and felt that everything would be alright.