The personality shift is becoming more and more noticeable. There is along with it a knowing that I am not myself; I am newly born.
An upcoming choice is being presented. It is a choice already made. These types of choices come to us in order to really test our intention toward a predetermine path (one we chose prior to this incarnation). We have set markers – signposts – along our life path. We put them there. Purposefully. This particular signpost is one I knew was coming. I saw it in 2007 when I made yet another choice already predetermined. I remember making it and knowing what was to come. Now I am walking toward the next signpost.
As I sat with my husband at a nice dinner away from children and distraction, he set in motion the events upon the path leading to the next signpost. It was easy to spot and it surprised me that I did not react with highly charged emotion. Sitting there, I saw the coming choice already being presented, though the final choice is far from here yet. It will be a long-time coming. Part of the choice is in deciding what I want, and I am not quite sure of that just yet.
It is amazing to me just how much I know of my life path. The very knowing that I had in 2007 was spot on. I pushed it away, assuming I was wrong or that fear was the cause. Yet, when my husband brought up that very instance, questioning me about it, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind that this was coming up now because it was meant to. It is dejavu without the strange, dream-like feeling.
Yet my mind did not wander to “what if’s” or future concerns like is the norm. Instead, I had few thoughts and the conversation shifted into a more pleasant one. There was a recognition in me that I have little interest in the types of interactions other people find so much enjoyment in. I can participate in them, but my emotions are quite flat. I have always been disinterested in normal, chit-chat, but now there is not the irritation of feeling obligated to interact in this way. Feeling this lack of interest in conversing with my own husband without the irritation allowed me to recognize just how much our energies have diverged. Where once we were similar in energy, now we are not. Now I must wait for him to recognize this as well.
There is quite a business-like, detachment that resides over me at most times now. It is so strange yet it is not. Even my memories have this detachment. The instance where I made the choice to be with my current husband in 2007 seems very business-like to me now, where in the past it would have caused me concern. The knowingness is also without emotion. It just IS.
I tried to explain to my husband why I made the decision to be with him despite knowing the outcome. The feeling that I was meant to be with him overrode the feeling of what was to come. This is how the signposts work. They point you in a direction and are clearly marked. There is no avoiding seeing them unless you literally cover your eyes and that you won’t do for the feeling propels your toward your set destination. These signposts = contractual agreements.
My husband did not understand, but then he does not know what I know and I would not tell him. This is not my place.
This morning my dreams suggested much upset in the walk-out and for a time she came to the forefront. Thankfully, our guidance is such that she resigned to her usual position in the background. We must wait and this part is the most upsetting to her as is the impatience she has.