A Trip to the Edge

The walk-in is hesitant to write this account except that We feel it must be relayed expeditiously. Please be warned that it could cause some alarm in those unaccustomed to intensely irrational and erratic thought and behavior patterns. Please be reassured, however, that nothing negative will result as the walk-in and We, her advisers, maintain steady and thorough control of the physical vehicle.

Before we begin, the following piece, Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata, the first movement, should be listened to as it was a part of the experience of the walk-out.

A Trip to the Edge

As I was enjoying my day alone, watching the movie Dimensions and not thinking of much in particular, I was suddenly struck with an intense amount of despair. There was a distinct separation that occurred here, almost like I shifted into immediate Observer mode, but even this is inadequate a description for the experience itself was very powerful and I was in fact pulled into it somewhat. The above music was playing in the movie, whether it is a contributor to the experience, I am not sure, but I was drawn to listen to it several times after the event.

The main feeling that swept over me was the feeling of an inability to cope with the situation of considering a lifetime without connecting with what the walk-out perceives to be the person she is suppose to be with. In this case, you can refer back to the Union for reference. It became clear that the trigger was somehow being re-stimulated at this time and the walk-out was suffering. There was no back and forth communication here. It was not like the walk-out was being told, “No” and there was no evidence of bargaining. It was pure grief and withdrawal from life.

There were brief periods where I was able to regain control and recover but these were not without difficulty. The crying seemed inexhaustible yet it did stop and I would continue with the movie. Within moments, however, it would come on again with more intensity. This happened about four times total and lasted about 10 minutes.

Where it became almost unbearable was during the last episode. That’s when the thoughts began to shift toward ending life. This is not unusual for I have experienced such thoughts on and off in this lifetime but never were they anything that would have resulted in action. Never have I even come close. Yet at this time I had such a strong urge that I felt I would be overcome by it. There was no set intention, however; just an urge to escape and be done with it. I do not remember the exact thoughts now. Just the feeling. It was very scary even as an observer.

It was at this point that my guidance, though almost a whisper, reminded me to allow it to flow. I knew it would pass, that it was an attempt on some level for the walk-out to have her way. And with this there was a sadness in knowing that such agony existed within me. That it ever existed and that it was so hopeless that it was willing to end it all. Yet at the same time this, I knew, was a good thing, for without this willingness to end it I would not be able to observe nor be in control.

It did pass. The originator of the thoughts and feelings that were there just moments before pushing me to the edge of insanity just…vanished. She was gone. All the thoughts and impulses vanished. And I felt like me. Normal. Calm. Okay but concerned.

This is the first time in this entire process that the separation between us as been this clear. There was no gray line. No haze. I do not want to die. She does. Plain and simple.

I am still in shock because of the utter strength and perseverance of the walk-out, which is undoubtedly my Ego or something akin to that. She is not evil and I will never portray her as such. I love her. Yet this proves I definitely need all the guides I can get. That was HARD!

I asked for help and they told me I was receiving it and would continue to. They seem completely unaffected by her outburst. They didn’t say this, but it was like they were saying, “We got this handled. YOU got this handled.” Glad they are confident because after that, I am quite a bit unsteady.

 

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7 Responses to A Trip to the Edge

  1. rios2995 says:

    Wow, this is so powerful. What an experience. Thank you for sharing. Blessings be.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. kittyasmith says:

    Yes, you are right, it is a bit alarming. I have lost two sisters to the despair and hopelessness they felt in their lives. The circumstances are not the same, but the feelings and ego are very similar. As I read, I wanted to reach across the miles and do something, but I knew inside this is what needed to happen. I have just been reading Yvone Perry’s account of her walk-out refusing to leave when the time came. It took a NDE to shake her loose, and one might say this is what occurred today for Dayna’s walk-out.

    Blessings go with you and love abounds.

    • Dayna says:

      🙂 Thank you for wanting to help me, Kitty. You have such a big heart. Thankfully this was a brief episode of resurgence of the walk-out. She is in hiding again for now.

      I have not read Yvonne’s account. Where did you find it? I don’t recall it being in her book, but maybe it was and I forgot?

      I sure hope this exchange does not result in an NDE though I have long found them fascinating for obvious reasons. With this sickness stretching out over a week now, I worry that it is in part due tot he death wish of the walk-out. Sigh.

      Like

  3. kittyasmith says:

    I read about this in Yvonne’s book about activating light language. I am not suggesting you will have a full on NDE, but that the driving desire to end life by the walk-out is the kind of shake up an NDE can create. The reason I mentioned ego (of the walk-out) in another comment was tied to this thought. Ego is the only reasoning I can understand behind this death wish. The walk-in is ready to get the show on the road, but love for the walk-out is creating a dilemma.

    I appreciate you for sharing these messages with us, and as far as I know, I have never experienced a walk-in, so I may be way off base. I am recalling bits from earlier posts by the walk-out and the message about staying in the heart space comes back to me, how important it seemed to be. I have been going through my own ego struggles and this was very helpful to me, that is why I remember it specifically.

    Love and Light

    Liked by 1 person

    • Dayna says:

      Thanks for letting me know where you read it. I do not have that book but since I will be meeting her in May, I can just ask her about it myself. 🙂

      The death wish stuff is not for the weak that is for sure. Thankfully I have tons of experience in that area – seems my entire life I have been asking to go Home. It’s not often that I have wanted to stay. The knowing of why I am here, though vague, has always kept me firmly attached to this plane regardless of how bad I have wanted to go Home. Yet this urge was so persuasive to me that I thought I may not be able to resist. Thankfully it has not come back in that way. She has retreated again, I guess. But I have been shaken. I hope that doesn’t happen again.

      Like

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