Today has been an odd day so far. I did not sleep well because of this chest cold and awoke at 12:30am feeling out of sorts. Physically, I felt a heaviness in my chest indicating fluid was present. This alarmed me. I do not like being sick! I also had stomach upset and lower back pain.
Mentally I was in a panic. The dream I had prior to waking suggested I was having an internal war with myself. This in itself was unsettling, but the feeling that came with it was that it was “normal” and to allow the feelings to surface for inspection. Yet I could not quiet my mind. I was concerned that I would just get more and more sick. I imagined myself developing pneumonia with a very high fever resulting in delirium. This scenario seemed appropriate considering a soul exchange was in process and I had read that oftentimes illness precipitates the final exchange. My guidance interrupted my thoughts, reminding me that illness of such extremes was not necessary and only used as a last resort. This did not settle my mind or nerves. I was convinced that I was headed toward extreme illness. My body felt wrong in ways I cannot even describe.
Unable to sleep, I went downstairs for a drink of water and took some Benadryl. My mind was racing. I was receiving messages from my Team. Specifically I kept hearing, “There has been a change of venue.” I didn’t understand why I would get such a message and it seemed only to make me that much more confused. There were other messages as well, messages using words that I struggled to comprehend; messages that are lost to me now.
Thankfully, I was able to fall asleep and this morning I have no more concerns that I will fall gravely ill. I understand that the messages I received in the night were not meant for me, but for the walk-in. This is why they made no sense to me.
I am still sick and now so is my husband. I awoke very, very hot. So much so that I started stripping off my clothing just to get cool. My temperature is normal now, but when I was experiencing this intense body heat I had difficulty thinking and was sure I was about to lose my mind.
There was an urge to review this blog. Following the urge increased my disorientation. I could not remember posting certain posts here! When did I do that? There is a date, so I know I wrote the posts, but the feeling I get when reading them is that I didn’t write them. Someone else did. But then I did. What??
The specific posts I do not feel I wrote are the ones that are not channeled. One would think it would be the channeled posts I would not remember. Nope. I wrote those. No doubt.
And I have this strange feeling that I have not been here for almost a week. Where have I been? I remember living my life, but I am strangely detached from it. It seems like a very in-depth dream I had.