Yesterday was a strange day. I awoke in a daze. Sleep deprived for the third night in a row, I was exhausted. It didn’t help that my middle son awoke near midnight with a high temperature. I was beside myself with worry and very aware of being not firmly connected to my physical body. Grounding was difficult as was sleep.
When I awoke in the morning I could not function. My brain was not working right. I was confused. Disoriented. Any noise had me on edge and my children were especially loud, making me that much more on edge. I kept thinking, “I’ve gotta get outta here.” I got ready, grabbed my car keys and left without telling my husband I was leaving.
I went to a department store and walked zombie-like up and down the isles. I kept having to use the restroom. My body seemed irritable and unhappy. The lady near the restrooms kept looking at me funny. I made some excuse. “Too much coffee this morning”.
Walking around in the store was like walking in a dream. I didn’t see people until suddenly they would appear in my line of sight. Therefore I was shocked each and every time I came upon someone. Once there was an old man. I wondered if was even alive he was so unreal to me.
The music playing seemed hell bent on reminding me that I was not myself; that the transformation had begun. I nearly cried when I heard one song about “fire” as I knew my Divine Fire had been lit and was about to rage out of control and transform me into someone else. I was terrified to confront this. The resistance only made it that much harder to stay grounded.
Thankfully my husband was perceptive enough to know he needed to allow me alone time. I got to walk outside and focus on grounding and being IN my body. The colors, the texture, the smells, the temperature – everything was so intensely real. I couldn’t stop looking at the clouds and the sky. It was so breathtaking.
At one point while at the playground with my son, another mother asked me his name. I heard myself answer but the response and the voice was alien to me. I panicked at first because I couldn’t remember his name. Yet the automatic response that came out of my mouth gave the name perfectly. Elek. Oh yeah, that’s his name. Something about this memory lapse brought on immediate panic. Who am I? What is happening to me? Instant calm was given by Adzekiel. My angel. My guide.
In the evening my energies had stabilized. I kept getting songs in my head and spontaneously followed the urge to play them. I danced with my youngest and allowed myself to be joyous. It was nice.
By the evening I was able to follow through with the amazing heart connection I have. It is like my new walkie-talkie. Tune in, feel/hear a message, send a message, feel the connection, feel the love, BE love. What an amazing experience! How could we have forgotten?!